See Things From Other Persons Perspective
Image credits - Quora
Let’s be honest. Most of us care only about ourselves. We don’t give two hoots about how the others feel. Evolutionarily, we are hard-wired to optimize for ourselves. In the African Savanna, when chased by wild animals, we would protect ourselves sacrificing a fellow tribe member, if needed. That gene has survived and evolved over the years, and it has made us very self-centered.
The best example of that can be seen in kids. Until the age of 4, children don’t even realize that their parents or grandparents might not be interested in reading the same Chicken Licken story to them for the 100th time.
Only around the age of 6, when they start making friends their age (who are also exactly like them), realize that their friend might want to do different things; they might be more interested in playing outdoors while you want to do drawing and coloring.
As we grow up, we start developing more empathy towards people around us and start seeing things from other people’s perspectives too. But it takes conscious effort to do so. It’s an acquired skill, doesn’t come naturally to anyone. Especially in moments of conflict, we completely ignore others’ point of view. The select few who can keep themselves in another person’s shoes in such moments see so much success.
Dale Carnegie once said, if there is one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.
This is so simple, so obvious that anyone should be able to see the truth of it instantly. Yet, most people ignore it most of the time.
For example, look at all the emails you received in the last 24 hours. Half the emails are generic templatized promotional ones with a one-sided broadcast of the services their company offers, without any care what-so-ever to explain why this should matter to you. Tell me if you haven’t received at least one of these horribly written emails
If the Direct Marketing experts and content writers - people well trained in the art of click-through conversions - write emails like these, with no regard for the other person’s interest, what hope should we have from an ordinary person?
Sales is another function where this is can be observed quite clearly. The balance of power is tilted. Most of the time, the buyer has the upper hand, she has all the options available to her and has the full freedom to choose a seller from various choices. Most skilled salesmen know this already; the only way to influence her decision is to talk in terms of what she wants.
But just like with children, this phenomenon is not restricted just to email marketing or sales only. Whether it’s a renegotiation of a contract, a family feud, an argument with a co-worker, or a fight with a friend - at the heart of every conflict lies the inability to consider the other person’s point of view. If we could just pause and reflect on why would the other person have a different point of view, half of these conflicts would end immediately.
The world is full of people who are attention-seeking, self-centered sons-of-bi***es, so the rare individual who is unselfish and objective in his outlook has an enormous advantage.
Best,
Kaddy